The professor told his class one day:
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the
tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
pair off with the person sitting to his or her
immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will
write the first paragraph of a short story. You will
e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph
and then add another paragraph to the story and send
it back, so sending another copy to me. The first
person will then add a third paragraph, and so on
back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent.


 There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written
in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."


 The following was actually turned in by two of
his English students: Rebecca and Gary.


 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first,
Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy
evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl,
who once said, in happier times, that he liked
chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
of the question.


 (second paragraph by Gary)

 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader
of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of
an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the
direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
cockpit.

 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing
War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper
 one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all
the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose
one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.

 (Gary ) Little did she know, but she had less than 10
seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through
the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on
course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them,
they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion,
which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

 (Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
semi-literate adolescent.

 (Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a
self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other
sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm
such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
Steele novels!"


 (Rebecca)
 Asshole.


 (Gary)
 Bitch


 (Rebecca)
 F_ _K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!


 (Gary)
 Go drink some tea - whore...

 (TEACHER)
 A+ - I really liked this one.